just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Come see our sink grown plant.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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