party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
