im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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