Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
