Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
