Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
