Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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