We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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