she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
