Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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