omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
