i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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