Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
