At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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