I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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