He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
