Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
