He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
