Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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