I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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