I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
