Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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