champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!