honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
