I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize