Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
