I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
