so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
