I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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