Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
