is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
