very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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