Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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