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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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