So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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