Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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