I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
