i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
