If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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