ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
