first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
