In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
