Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
