Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
