I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
