I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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