we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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