I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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