So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize