Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
