I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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