just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
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That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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