I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
