i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I could fuck to npr.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
