I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
sex in a hospital.. check
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
