I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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