What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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