I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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