i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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