She announced her abortion via fbk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
