Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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