THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
