the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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