just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
