Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
