Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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