The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's get the cat blown out
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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