She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
