Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
