32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She even gives head with a lisp.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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