the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
