He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
