whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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