But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
