I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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